Wikipedia:Peer review/John Appleton/archive1

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John Appleton[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have worked on this article, and I wish to bring it to good article status. My fiancee is from Bolivia, and me being from America, I became interested in US-Bolivian relations. I figured I would start with the first US Ambassador to Bolivia. Turns out this guy was pretty active and influential in his lifetime.

Thanks, —Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 05:38, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Euryalus[edit]

I've given the article a quick copyedit, but have a few additional suggestions to fill some gaps. It's evident these gaps are principally the result of limited source availability, so feel free to simply note the impossibility of any of my views. I raise them only having regard for the GA criterion 3a - that we are utilising every obtainable and credible means to fill out and explain Appleton's biography.

Lead

  • I've rearranged this into a four-para summary. The article covers his diplomatic roles in greater detail than his legal and political ones, and this is reflected in the lead. But I wonder if this is an accurate reflection of Appleton's life, or just a reflection of this article? Views welcome.
    • I definitely like the new lead. I do think it is just a reflection of the article, so far. I think once I answer the remaining comments and add them to the article, we might be able to "buff up" the lead a bit more.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 17:56, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

  • Father was a "well known citizen" of Portland - do we know what he was well known for and/or what his occupation was?
    • Was unable to find it. I see that you have access to JSTOR, which is awesome.
  • Mother was "from a Connecticut family" - not clear if this is a reference to upper-class social status, or just letting us know where she's from.
    • Meant to be a family from Connecticut. Fixed it a bit.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 17:56, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • You edited it to be "[...] Sophia Appleton [...], was Connecticut". That doesn't sound too right in my opinion.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 14:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • Argh, yes you're right, I meant "was from Connecticut." I don't really mind what we use - all the different versions of wording are fine so whichever you prefer. Euryalus (talk) 14:25, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "spent most of his childhood in Portland" - I appreciate this might be the limit of what the sources provide, but did he spend any of his childhood anywhere else?
  • Family in general - it's implied but not explicitly stated that the Appleton's were well-to-do.
  • Appointed as editor of the Argus - If relevant, it would be good to state who appointed him. The current wording also provides an odd career jump from law to media (this might be my fault in copyediting this section).
  • Law office in Portland - needs rough dates for this opening and closing. If available, would benefit from detail on cases pursued or his legal achievements at the time (acknowledging that this may be impossible with available sources, and/or that he may simply have been a run-of-the-mill local lawyer).
  • Law office 2 - the way it currently reads, it's not clear why closing a law office is relevant to political aspirations. Again, this could be my fault in copyediting, in which case rectification welcome.
  • Marriage - do we know anything more about his wife, to give this sentence some context? And did they have any children?

Political career: Chargé d'affaires to Bolivia

  • Appointment - be good to add a line on why Buchanan thought America suddenly needed a chargé in Bolivia.
    • I'm guessing you added it, but since Bolivia was newly found US wanted to establish diplomatic relations.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 14:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • It's now implied with the "newly independent" phrase. You reckon this looks OK or should it be more explicit? Euryalus (talk) 14:25, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ships - I changed "crashed" to "wrecked" as the term is more suited to shipping. However either term implies a total or near-total loss at sea. Some context would be good for what happened and how Appleton nearly lost his life.
    • Unable to find it. As I mentioned below, I think I might have found the ship's name, but I very easily could be wrong.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 14:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • I think you're right. Will pursue this further tomorrow. Euryalus (talk) 14:25, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Term - Appleton presented his credentials in Jan 1849 and departed in May - he spent more time travelling there than he did serving in the role. Do the sources suggest a reason for this very short term?
    • He actually lost interest, according to American Council of Learned Societies 1943, p. 330. It states "Living conditions were unattractive, diplomatic amenities were few, and there was little work to attend to." Added a sentence about it.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 14:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Arica - this sentence doesn't quite work the way it reads - how would the American Chargé in Bolivia persuade the Peruvian government to surrender a city? I suspect there's some context missing, which would be good to add in.
    • Looks like it was added.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 14:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • Sort of. I'd still like to add something more here, but I'd need to read up on the Peru-Bolivia Confederacy, and I think more than a few extra words on the topic would be undue weight. Will come back in a day or two with whatever I can find in amateur analysis. Euryalus (talk) 14:25, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • American policies - do we know what policies Buchanan was advocating here?
  • "During his term ..." - implies Appleton didn't carry out Buchanan's instructions, and instead conducted his own studies. Is that accurate? If not, it would be good to detail what he did to uphold his official role. If his most notable activity was study, did he produce any work or publish any conclusions?
    • No, he did follow the instructions followed by Buchanan, however, there was a lot of spare time. During it that's when he conducted his own study. He was in the works with a book on the history of Bolivia, but he left for the US before completion.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 03:54, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Political career: HoR and London

  • Congress - long shot, but it's possible his speeches exist somewhere in a published form, as part of the Congressional record. If so, they might offer some insights into Appleton as a person, or into his political views.
  • Envoy to London - pardon my ignorance but what was the American role in resolving the Crimean War? This needs a little more context so we can understand what Appleton was seeking to achieve as envoy.'

Political career: Assistant Secretary

  • Health - he resigned from the paper due to ill health, but immediately took a presumably more demanding role as Assistant Secretary of State? I'm also guessing the health issue is TB, but it would be good to spell that out here if sources permit.
  • Duties of incumbent - be good if we could narrow this list to the specific duties that applied at the time Appleton held the role.

Death

  • This could be expanded with details of who in his family survived him, and what his legacy was.
    • He was survived by his wife and child. I do know that the child lived in Washington, DC, during the time of his death. I'm not sure how to fit that in though.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 03:54, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

References

  • Two different dates are given for Emery - 1890 in refs 2,4 and 6,and 1891 in refs 7,11,13 and 15. The link says 1891 but there may be multiple editions (in which case the putative 1890 edition also needs listing in the reference section).
  • References 3, 10 and 12 are books. They should be summarised in "Notes" but listed in full in "References"

Images

  • Are fine, though one or two more would be nice.

External links look OK.

Overall an entertaining read, though the understandable gaps in sources leave you wondering at the human story that must lie behind the career summary. Euryalus (talk) 14:13, 2 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you. I really appreciate what you have done to the article! I will start working on these tasks.—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 01:00, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. I've found a source linking Appleton's Bolivian appointment with US interest in South American independence movements - will add it later today as context. Also, do you know the name of the ship he took to Bolivia? I can maybe find more detail that way. Euryalus (talk) 01:14, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]