Wikipedia:Peer review/Among Us VR/archive1
Among Us VR[edit]
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This peer review discussion is closed. |
I've decided to list this video game article because I want to improve it. I want to at least get this article to a B-Class assessment. This is my first article that I've fully worked on.
Thanks, Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 18:08, 28 April 2023 (UTC)
Comments from Z1720[edit]
Comments after a quick skim:
- The lede is quite short; I suggest summarising all sections of the article into the lede.
- Done. Feel free to give me some suggestions for the lead. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 13:33, 3 May 2023 (UTC)
- The "Reception" section falls into the "X says Y" pattern. I suggest reading WP:RECEPTION to avoid this.
- @Z1720 and QuicoleJR: I did a little bit of the reception. I plan on continuing reworking the reception section tomorrow. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 00:32, 24 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Z1720 I have reworked almost the entire reception section. What do you think? Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 13:27, 26 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Z1720 and QuicoleJR: I did a little bit of the reception. I plan on continuing reworking the reception section tomorrow. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 00:32, 24 May 2023 (UTC)
- Additional sources for the article can be found at WP:VG/S, Google and WP:LIBRARY. This will help expand the article.
I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 17:10, 29 April 2023 (UTC)
Comments from QuicoleJR[edit]
- The reception section needs work. The "X of Y said Z" stuff gets a bit repetitive and there are way too many quotes.
- See above. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 00:32, 24 May 2023 (UTC)
- "new tasks such as a Whac-A-Mole style task" Task is repetitive here, you should change one.
- If you can find more development info, that would be helpful.
- I feel like there's more dev info in The Washington Post interview. I'll take a look later and see if there is. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 13:58, 26 May 2023 (UTC)
- What is the source for the April Fool's Day horse hat? I do not see one, but I might just be missing it.
- The information for the horse hat thing is in citation 17. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 20:52, 3 May 2023 (UTC)
More comments coming. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:15, 3 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Pizzaplayer219: I think that's about it. Any thoughts? BTW, this is my first review. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:48, 3 May 2023 (UTC)
- I tried to help with the Reception section a little, but it still needs work. QuicoleJR (talk) 14:21, 12 May 2023 (UTC)
- @Pizzaplayer219: Are you still watching this review? QuicoleJR (talk) 14:24, 12 May 2023 (UTC)
- I'll try to do the reception section later today. Pizzaplayer219TalkContribs 14:31, 12 May 2023 (UTC)