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    Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield!
    Against stupidity the very gods
    Themselves contend in vain.

    -Friedrich Schiller, The Maid of Orleans (although I came to it, of course, through Isaac Asimov)

    Wikipedia is ... a place where anyone with a browser can go, pick a subject that interests them, and without even logging in, start an argument.

    -Lore Sjoberg, The Wikipedia FAQK

    If the text of each phrase requires a paragraph (to disprove), each paragraph - a section, each section - a chapter, and each chapter - a book, the whole text becomes effectively irrefutable and, therefore, acquires features of truthfulness. I define such truthfulness as transcendental.

    -Sergey Lopatnikov, quoted here. Applicability to WP is left as an exercise for the reader.

    Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

    -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

    Wikipedia is basically Webkinz World for grownups.

    -Mrs. Floquenbeam, while watching my daughter and me both "playing" at the same time

    I haven't yet been screwed by sonneteers.
    So that's how I select my fav'rite peers.

    -User:Proofreader77, (unpublished work)

    Strength is essential, but otherwise unimportant

    -Hardy Cross

    The Center of the Universe (the Mountain, not the city). I live very, very far away from it now. :(

    Hello, and welcome

    • I respond to Floquenbeam, Floq, Flo, FB, Flow, any other nickname you can think of (as long as it's not rude), or even "hey you", as long as I know from context you're talking to me.
    • I don't go around correcting people when they guess wrong (hardly their fault), but I'm a "he".
    • I'm easy to get along with (at least in real life), so please give me any constructive criticism you want; I'm aware that I'm imperfect, and usually quite willing to admit it and apologize when I screw up.
    • I try my best to turn the other cheek, but I'm evidently not so great getting unconstructive criticism, particularly when my good faith is questioned, or if I think I'm being patronized.
    • I instinctively side with the underdog, so I tend to react poorly when I see other people (particularly newbies) bullied or patronized. I'm not convinced that's a defect, but I'm trying to make more of an effort in not going immediately into attack mode.
    • Sock declaration: User:Floquensock, User:Floquenstein's monster, and User:Floquenphone are me. As is future bureaucrat User:Aardvark Floquenbeam.
    • FWIW, I used to have another account before Floquenbeam, but abandoned it; so I've been here longer than it looks.
    • I was on the Arbitration Committee from 1 January 2014 until 29 July 2014, but couldn't hack it.
    • I am an admin here. Interesting reading: WP:Requests for adminship/Floquenbeam and WP:Requests for adminship/Floquenbeam 2.


    PunchCardDecks.agr.jpg This user remembers (with nostalgia) having to use punch cards to run Fortran programs in college.

    ... My first self-created userbox, inspired by a conversation with an incredulous 25 year old coworker today

    Ten Year Society userbox.svgThis user has been editing Wikipedia for more than ten years.
    Noia 64 apps karm.svg This user has been on Wikipedia for 14 years, 9 months and 28 days.

    ... My wiki birthday. I am somewhat older than this in real life.

    I'm an awesome Wikipedian!
    This user has been identified as an Awesome Wikipedian and was awarded their own day on 27 May 2010.

    ... Happy me day!

    Admin mop question.pngThis user is an administrator, but might like not to be one some day.

    ... Shamelessly stolen from Pedro

    Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail2.JPG
    Forbidden sign.png
    This user is not God Emperor of Wikipedia but might like to be some day.

    ...Thanks Mandarax!

    Admin mop question.pngThis user is an administrator, but mostly out of spite.

    ... Not stolen from Pedro, but inspired by him

    According to The Political Compass this user is:
    Economic Neutral (1.0) and
    Social Libertarian (−5.0)

    ... So no, I'm not working for Santorum's election campaign, in spite of occasional moronic claims to the contrary

    US Department of Justice Scales Of Justice.svgThis administrator is open to recall.

    ... Finally got around to this: see User:Floquenbeam/Recall

    BassetHound.jpgMr Moon ?/?/02 - 8/28/14

    ... Good boy.

    Deux.svgThis user has met two Wikipedians in real life

    ... And they were both completely normal human beings!

    This user is clever and lazy on the Hammerstein-Equord Scale.

    ... although stupid and lazy is also a distinct possibility

    Templar fresco cornwall england simon brighton.jpgThis user pursues vandals for personal validation rather than any deep-seated conviction.
    Agouti chewing.jpgThis user has eaten a rodent.


    Janssen COVID-19 vaccine (2021) F (cropped).jpgThis user has received the Janssen COVID-19 vaccine.


    Covid-Vaccine-41 (50753217957) (cropped).jpgThis user has received a Moderna COVID-19 vaccine booster dose.

    ...whatever they had

    ...intentionally went for the trifecta

    Useful links

    Workbenches: DPWLSENDTMontessoriSandboxEmergency backup sandboxMy subpages

    Interwiki: Meta: Watchlisttalk • Commons: Watchlisttalk • Simple: Watchlisttalk

    Tools: SUL toolCross-namespace redirectsEditor interaction • append this to get MW pages: &uselang=qqx

    Wikipedia Library: My library

    New unbulleted paragraph in a bulleted comment: *<li style="list-style:none">Text here</li>

    This is the year

    2019: Seattle Mariners win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 17:30, 13 October 2018 (UTC)

    20 March 2019: Best record in baseball
    14 June 2019: No so much

    2023: Seattle Mariners win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 22:29, 26 October 2022 (UTC)

    AL West W L Pct. GB Home Road
    Texas Rangers 40 22 0.645 21–9 19–13
    Houston Astros 36 28 0.562 5 18–14 18–14
    Los Angeles Angels 35 30 0.538 19–13 16–17
    Seattle Mariners 30 32 0.484 10 17–15 13–17
    Oakland Athletics 15 50 0.231 26½ 7–24 8–26

    2015/16: Denver Broncos win it all. You heard it here first. --Floquenbeam (talk) 23:50, 12 January 2015 (UTC)

    2017-present: You know, it's taken many decades, and I've shamefully looked the other way most of those decades, but the last few months have made even a white, male, old dog like me maybe 20% woke. Fuck the NFL. CTE. Blackmailing cities for stadia. Crawling over one another to hire rapists. Blackballing Colin Kaepernick. Fuck every single person associated with the ownership of this league. I have no illusions that this matters to anyone, but I'm trying to improve my karma by boycotting the NFL this year. MLB may not be much better, but it's got to be incrementally better, right?. Wish I could turn to NCAA football instead, but ... Jesus, it's just horrible, horrible people every way you turn. --Floquenbeam (talk) 00:30, 10 August 2017 (UTC)